It seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.

I mean, my two-year-old daughter’s decision to grab a long, exceedingly sharp butcher’s knife from the dishwasher and run the entire length of the house with it in her hand — and leap playfully onto the couch in the front room.

I’d been unloading the dishwasher when Sarah wormed past my legs to get the knife. I think she just wanted to liven up the afternoon.

I remember running as fast as I could after her, unable to reach down far enough from my height to slow or stop her, and worrying each second that, by chasing her, I was increasing the danger that she’d fall and the knife would go —- well, I didn’t want to think where the knife might go.

It turned out fine.

She got to the couch and I got to her without any slashes, punctures or other sorts of wounds occurring.

Awash with relief and yet still coming to the full realization of how dangerous our little jaunt had been, I gave Sarah the only spanking of her life.

That turned out fine, too. The three slaps I directed to her rump were nicely cushioned by her thick diaper. She thought it was a game.

She laughed.

Patrick T. Reardon
5.3.12

Written by : Patrick T. Reardon

For more than three decades Patrick T. Reardon was an urban affairs writer, a feature writer, a columnist, and an editor for the Chicago Tribune. In 2000 he was one of a team of 50 staff members who won a Pulitzer Prize for explanatory reporting. Now a freelance writer and poet, he has contributed chapters to several books and is the author of Faith Stripped to Its Essence. His website is https://patricktreardon.com/.

No Comments

  1. Jeanene May 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    Really? The only spanking of her life?! My poor children.

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm - Reply

      You know, there have been times when I’ve thought that maybe a second or third…..or fourth or fifth….might have been of some benefit.

  2. Mary Elizabeth May 3, 2012 at 6:25 pm - Reply

    That made me laugh too! The vision of you running throught the house…lol.
    If that is the only danger she will ever be in, you’re lucky and Blessed.
    love you and Sarah
    Mary Elizabeth

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 3, 2012 at 6:43 pm - Reply

      Of course, the other danger was that, in the middle of it all, I could have suffered a heart attack from fright!

  3. Trish May 4, 2012 at 6:35 am - Reply

    We are thankful Sarah that nothing bad happend to you, other than that spanking. We sure would have missed your being around to add enjoyment to family gatherings. Love you and your parents 8-)

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 4, 2012 at 10:34 am - Reply

      Sarah laughs every time she thinks of the “spanking.”

  4. Eileen Novick May 4, 2012 at 8:41 am - Reply

    Sometimes it only takes a few seconds to make a lasting memory.

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 4, 2012 at 10:35 am - Reply

      In the midst of it all, those few seconds seemed to last a long, long time.

  5. Geri Greenfield May 5, 2012 at 10:36 am - Reply

    I love it!! Sarah even at two you could get your fathers heart pumping fast!!
    All she got was a spanking…..You are soft.
    Just remember Sarah when your laughing at this story….what goes around, comes around….then it will be your Dads turn to sit back on the couch laughing!!
    Love you all Geri

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 5, 2012 at 5:16 pm - Reply

      You know, Geri. I’d just as soon not have any child of Sarah run giggling through the house with a huge butcher knife. And I certainly wouldn’t want to watch it. I don’t think my heart could stand it a second time.

  6. j reardon May 7, 2012 at 4:56 am - Reply

    i d cry but im all ready crying love her superwoman outfit

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 7, 2012 at 7:41 am - Reply

      I think you had a Superman outfit as a baby. And, yes, you cried in it.

  7. Tim May 7, 2012 at 4:13 pm - Reply

    The only spanking of her life? With my boys it would have been the only spanking before noon. They run through the house with knives giggling,and there 20 & 22
    I wish i could be back when they were that young. Thanks Tim

    • Patrick T. Reardon May 7, 2012 at 4:18 pm - Reply

      Yeah, I wish I’d found a way to bottle my kids at that age……of course, without the need to change diapers.

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